Life changing

As we were finishing up at Guy and Carrie's house we prayed. While everyone was praying God reminded me of when I first became a "Christian". Before I knew about the To Do lists. I never had a "quite time". I didn't have a time of day where I would talk to God. I talked to Him all day. I read the word when I felt like reading the word. I was walking with God all day everyday. What happened ? Now I would open the bible because that's what I was told to do. I would allow God in my life during that 1/2 hour quite time but then forgot He was there the rest of the day.

We finished up praying and said our good byes. On our way home Jamie and I decided to try this "exercise" that Guy had told us about. Guy said, as one of you prays for the other, allow God to show you or tell you something and the first thing that comes into your head tell the other person.

So, when we got home we sat on the couch and I agreed to go first. Now let me remind you that since Jamie and I got married I have never felt comfortable to pray, worship, or talk about God with Jamie. There has always be a fear to do so.

As Jamie began to pray I pictured a little girl in pigtails swinging on a swing in a back yard. (nothing more, nothing less) Then as Jamie said amen, he asked me what I saw and I told him. Jamie asked if I thought that little girl was me. And not wanting to admit it I said yes. Jamie said okay, let me pray again and we'll see what happens next. So I closed my eyes and as Jamie began to pray I pictured the same thing but this time everyone (family and friends) was playing foot ball while I was swinging. I was swinging watching everyone play but me. (I was to little) Then as Jamie said amen, he asked what I saw and I told him. Then he said okay lets do it again and see what you picture. This time it was the same girl on the swing, but this time it was a birthday party. Everyone was playing in the sprinkler and this little girl was swinging. Then as she looked over she wondered who's birthday party it was. My heart sank. It was mine. At that point Jamie had said amen and asked me what I saw. And I told him. At this point both of us are now a little confused. Neither one of us had done this before and we didn't know if God was showing me these things or I was just remembering childhood. So I told Jamie that I would do it one more time but if God doesn't show what all this means then I didn't want to continue. So, as Jamie began to pray again I saw myself at 23 years old standing in a pitch black room with a Giant (movie) screen in front of me. I threw my hands in the air and asked God what this was supposed to mean. As all three visioned flashed on the screen, REJECTION flashed in red from the bottom left to the top right corner of the screen. Then a bible verse. Philippians 3:8 can on the screen. As Jamie was finishing his prayer I began to cry. Rejection, that's what I have felt my whole life. Jamie asked me what I saw and I proceeded to tell him. I was hesitant on telling him about the bible verse because I didn't want to be some stupid verse that didn't protain to what the visions were. If it didn't protain then it would prove that everything that was just done was fake or not of God.

Philippians 3:8 -
Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ .

As Jamie read this to me I didn't understand what it was saying. Jamie said "Don't you get it, count all that garbage, so that you may gain Christ." Count it garbage. Christ says, "the rejection you felt, I throw that away, because you are accepted by me!"

Now Tell me there is not a God!!! Because there is and He loves me !

Then it was Jamie's turn. I prayed while he shut his eyes. As I said amen I looked up at him and he was weeping. (This was the first time I saw my husband cry) He told me that God took him back to when he was going to kill himself. But this time when he turned around it was Jesus. It was not self survival it was God. Then I prayed again. This time Jamie heard something over and over and over again. "I am always with you, I will never leave you" For Jamie this was monumental.

As you can see this night was life changing.